When I Feel Red: A powerful story of dyspraxia, identity and finding your place in the world (Paperback) - Lily Bailey

An uplifting middle-grade story with a charming dyspraxic main character that celebrates individuality and finding your place in the world. Perfect for fans of Elle McNicoll.

'I feel like I'm always ... last. Like I'm running to try and keep up with everyone but it's no good.'

April has always marched to the beat of her own drum, but would life be easier if she learned to fit in? Now that she's in Year 8, things have got even worse. She's much more likely to be trying to rescue an animal in need than worrying about who's dating who at school, which April just finds BORING. Plus, her lessons feel like they're in a foreign language, and it suddenly seems impossible to make it through the week without landing in detention.

As family worries and classroom romances ramp up, it feels like everyone around her is pulling away - even her best friend Ben. But when the pressure's on, can she find a way to fit in and still be true to herself?

An empowering follow up to When I See Blue about finding your place in the world from the inspiring author and mental health activist, Lily Bailey. Perfect for fans of Elle McNicoll.

'An authentic and tender look at fitting in when you don't and being true to yourself' - A.M. Dassu
'This is a vivid account of being out of step with your peers, not limited to discussions about dyslexia and dyspraxia' - The Guardian

About the Author

Lily Bailey is a writer. She first became a journalist in London in 2012, editing a news site and writing features and fashion articles for local publications including the Richmond Magazine and the Kingston Magazine.


As a child and teenager, Lily suffered from severe Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). She kept her illness private, until the widespread misunderstanding of the disorder spurred her into action. In 2014 she began campaigning for better awareness and understanding of OCD. Her first book, Because We Are Bad (May 2016), recounts her experience of OCD, and was published in the UK, US, Australia and Germany. In 2019, she was awarded the Illumination Award, which is presented by the IOCDF to media personalities and influencers who have accurately and respectfully represented OCD and related disorders. She continues to write and speak publicly about OCD and mental illness, and blogs for Psychology Today.


Lily grew up in London, she now lives in Kent with her dog Rocky and her partner. She enjoys watching Doctor Who, swimming and playing chess (not very well). Lily usually prefers dogs to people and can ride a tandem bicycle. She is a former model, which she makes up for by being deeply uncool.